When Letting Go Feels Harder Than Holding On
In my last newsletter, I shared how stress tends to amplify our natural DISC tendencies, and how, under pressure, we become more of who we already are. What I didn’t anticipate is how clearly that same principle would surface in this next season of growth. As I continue to step into my new role at OrgMetrics, I’ve been navigating something that sounds simple but is stretching me in practice: Letting go.
Responsibilities I’ve owned are now being handed to others. The good news is that in the middle of this transition, I got the chance to take a delegation course by Eric Herdman. The timing couldn’t have been more aligned with where I am on my leadership journey.
And if I’m honest? Delegation is harder than it looks.
Eric uses a 5-step framework that is as practical as it is honest:
1. Identify What to Delegate: Start with a personal workload audit figuring out what you should keep, delegate, or stop completely. Not everything you do requires you. Sometimes we hold onto tasks out of habit (or because we crave routine), not necessity.
2. Identify the Right Person: This is where DISC becomes incredibly helpful. Understanding someone’s natural style gives you a strong starting point for alignment; energy, pace, detail orientation, and communication preferences all matter. As a company, we really try to align people’s actual job tasks with their preferred tasks… when people enjoy the actual daily work – they do it well!
3. Set Clear Expectations: Define the outcome. Provide the tools. Offer encouragement. And then…this is the hard part, let go of unnecessary control as of a specific deadline. These baton passes of responsibility can be difficult to define. Stealing from Brene Brown again… “Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.”
4. Accountability & Support: Delegation is not abandonment. You don’t just walk away. Effective delegation involves feedback, check-ins, and psychological safety so people can ask questions without fear of criticism.
5. Debrief, Recognition & Growth: After completion be willing to ask yourself (and the person or group to whom you delegated) … “What worked? What can we improve? Where is there opportunity for expanded ownership next time?” As a leader when you take a continuous improvement approach and mindset, you are training your team that they should be doing the same.
Leaders become great, not because of their power, but because of their ability to empower others.” from Developing the Leader Within You – John C. Maxwell
Delegation Through the DISC Lens
When we struggle to delegate, it’s often tied to what feels safest in our own style:
- High D (Dominant) Style may think: “It’s faster if I just do it.” They value efficiency and results, and delegation can feel like a delay. Under pressure, they may reclaim tasks to keep momentum…unintentionally limiting others’ growth. Or, alternatively, they may dump a task and run sharing only the bottom line without the details.
- High I (Influence) Style may delegate enthusiastically but lose interest in the detailed follow-through. They thrive on interaction and momentum, although they may need support ensuring clarity and consistency after the initial handoff. Structure is essential!
- High S (Steadiness) Style (that’s me) may hesitate because we don’t want to burden others or disrupt harmony. We may quietly absorb extra work to keep things smooth, even when sharing it would strengthen the team. We also tend to be possessive of the process. Setting a clear deadline for the baton pass is very helpful, so we are implementing our plan.
- High C (Conscientiousness) Style may struggle to hand something off unless it’s perfectly structured and controlled. Their high standards protect quality, but waiting for “perfect clarity” can slow momentum and create bottlenecks.
Same task. Different internal resistance.
Delegation isn’t just about efficiency or removing work from your plate, it’s about trust, clarity, redistributing ownership… and even letting someone else do it differently than you would. When done clearly and intentionally, it reduces the very stress that causes our tendencies to flare in the first place. Letting go isn’t losing value. It’s multiplying it.
A Small Shift That Makes a Big Difference
In order to align around the same vision, instead of asking, “Can you take this?” Try asking, “Here’s the outcome I’m aiming for. What would you need from me to own this?”
That one shift:
- Gives clarity to high C’s
- Provides reassurance to high S’s
- Creates ownership for high D’s
- Opens collaboration for high I’s
Delegation done well isn’t about control, but instead it’s about capacity. As I continue stepping into my new role, I’m learning that letting go doesn’t translate to a loss of value, it’s clearing space to enable others to grow. At the same time, it gives me room to take on new opportunities, focus on higher-priority projects, or simply give my current work the attention and quality it deserves.
If your team is navigating growth, new roles, or simply feeling stretched thin, understanding how each style approaches ownership, responsibility, and communication, can make delegation significantly smoother. I facilitate DISC workshops focused on practical application to fit the needs of project teams including communication and stress awareness.
Sometimes the most strategic thing a team can do is slow down long enough to understand how they’re wired to work.
~ Louisa
Louisa brings a fresh and energetic approach to DISC training, combining her passion for people with the collaborative methods of OrgMetrics. As a Certified DISC Trainer, she helps construction project teams understand communication styles, strengthen relationships, and work together more effectively. Louisa’s approachable style makes DISC accessible, engaging, and directly relevant to the real-world challenges teams face. She is based in the Livermore, CA, where she enjoys coaching youth sports, volunteering at her children’s schools, and spending time with family.
For more information, please contact Louisa Garrett, louisagarrett@orgmet.com / (702) 466-8722 (cell) or OrgMetrics robreaugh@orgmet.com / (925) 449-8300.