Nobody Wants to Open the Can. Great Leaders Do it Anyway
I was recently speaking with a construction leader who shared something I suspect many project leaders have thought but few would say out loud. He told me, “I don’t like asking too many questions because I’m afraid I’ll open a can of worms.” The more we talked, the more I understood what he meant. He wasn’t trying to avoid his team or uninterested in their opinions. He was simply trying to keep the project moving.
In his experience, asking a simple question could turn into a thirty-minute discussion. A discussion could become a debate. A debate could uncover problems that nobody had anticipated. Before long, an hour was gone and it felt like nothing had been accomplished. So, like many leaders, he often relied on a more directive approach. Make the decision, give the direction, and keep things moving.
The challenge, of course, is that construction projects have a way of making us deal with issues eventually. The concern that nobody raises during planning often becomes a problem in the field. The disagreement that stays hidden during design somehow shows up during construction. The stakeholder who wasn’t consulted becomes the person standing between the project and an approval. What feels faster today can become very expensive tomorrow.
As our conversation continued, I introduced him to some ideas from the classic book on negotiation – Getting to Yes. Most construction leaders have never formally studied negotiation, yet they spend much of their day negotiating. They negotiate schedules, resources, priorities, scope changes, responsibilities, and expectations. They negotiate with owners, contractors, designers, regulators, and team members.
The book’s central idea is surprisingly simple. Instead of focusing on what people want, spend some time understanding why they want it. That sounds obvious, but it’s amazing how often we skip this step. Imagine a contractor says, “We need to accelerate the schedule.” An owner responds, “We’re not approving additional costs.” At first glance, it looks like a disagreement. But those are positions. They’re statements about what each side wants. The more interesting question is why.
Why is the contractor asking for acceleration? Why is the owner concerned about costs? Maybe the contractor is trying to avoid congestion between trades later in the project. Maybe the owner is under pressure to stay within a fixed budget approved by a board or funding agency. Once those underlying interests are understood, entirely new solutions become possible. The conversation shifts from people defending their positions to people solving a problem together.
Instead of focusing on what people want, spend some time on understanding why they want it.
This is where many leaders get uncomfortable. Asking questions can feel like slowing things down. Yet in my experience, thoughtful questions are often one of the fastest ways to reach a better decision. A few minutes spent exploring concerns can prevent weeks of frustration later. A conversation that uncovers a risk early can save months of schedule impacts. Taking the time to understand competing interests can prevent disputes that consume enormous amounts of energy and money.
The irony is that the leaders who appear to save time by avoiding difficult conversations often create more work for themselves later. The leaders who are willing to lean into those conversations usually discover that they prevent problems before they become crises.
That doesn’t mean every issue deserves a two-hour meeting. It doesn’t mean every concern requires consensus. And it certainly doesn’t mean leaders stop making decisions. It simply means that before deciding, they become curious.
They ask questions like, “What’s driving that concern?” or “What problem are we trying to solve?” or “What would success look like from your perspective?” Those questions tend to reveal information that would otherwise stay hidden.
By the end of our conversation, this leader had come to an important realization. Asking questions doesn’t mean losing control. In fact, it often gives a leader more control because they are making decisions with better information.
Yes, opening the channel may occasionally open a can of worms. But in construction, those worms rarely disappear on their own. They simply wait until they’re larger, more expensive, and harder to manage.
The next time you’re tempted to shut down a discussion in the interest of saving time, try asking one more question instead. You may discover that the conversation you were avoiding is exactly the one your project needed.
~ Kate
Kate Stewart’s distinguished career spans 25 years as a professional neutral and organizational development consultant for numerous large organizations. Her expertise includes Partnering facilitation on high-profile projects, such as the Kansas City International Airport mega program. She has served as a coach, trainer, researcher, and thought leader across various industries and disciplines on both domestic and international fronts. Kate is based in the picturesque Paradise Valley, Montana, where she enjoys hiking, gardening, and reading.
For more information, please contact Kate Stewart, katestewart@orgmet.com / (406) 414-9922 (cell) or OrgMetrics RobReaugh@Orgmet.com / (925)449-8300