Did you know your skills in managing stress can affect your ability to successfully deliver your projects? Imagine this, you wake up at 5:00 am and jump in your car only to find out that the traffic is bad and you’re going to be 20 minutes late for a meeting you’ve been trying to set up for three weeks. You arrive late and the meeting is already over with no resolution to the problem. You also learn that overnight a water pipe broke and flooded part of the job site, and that the key materials needed for today’s work are wrong and new ones will need to be ordered. Now you’re late for a meeting downtown for the approvals you need to get the next part of the project going. You have meeting after meeting during the rest of the afternoon and get into your truck at 6:00 pm exhausted. You start driving and find out you have a flat tire. So, you get out to fix it and have no lug wrench. So, you call AAA to come and that takes another 45 minutes. Finally, the tire is fixed and you can head for home. When you walk in the door your kids start yelling that they need your help with their homework, and they start fighting – and you BLOW UP!!!
The Nature of Stress
This is the nature of stress!!! It accumulates and if it isn’t released you will blow, and you will not be in control when you do.
Let’s start by understanding what creates stress. It is FEAR! And fear releases stress hormones (primarily cortisol). Your amygdala interprets the threat and sends a distress signal to the hypothalamus and a cascade of hormones (including adrenaline) flood your body putting you into a fight or flight mode along with a burst of energy.
When you operate in chronic stress it’s like a motor that has been idling too high for too long and your body starts to experience physical break downs. But what about your relationships? They are damaged as well. And your effectiveness as a leader (and parent)? They are damaged too.
How can you stop from having a “blow up?” Release the stress as it starts to build up. Like letting air out of a balloon – before it gets so full it bursts. And remember that is isn’t the stress that is the problem, but your reaction to it that is the problem.
No Stress is Not Good Either
Many people believe that we want to eliminate all stress in our lives. But that is called boredom, and that is not good either. You need a balance of stress so that you feel comfort and excitement. Can you imagine a project (or life) with NO stress? You get up and don’t do anything, you don’t have anything to worry about, nothing to accomplish, no one to care for? This is a stress-free life! Over time this stress free life would become very stressful because you would be so bored you could hardly bare it.
Tools for Managing Stress
Here are three tools for managing stress:
1. Eliminate the Stressor or Change Your Response to it
2. Use the Coping Resources (skills) Available to you
3. Develop new Coping Resources (skills)
(Check out Sue’s newsletter, 3 Brain Hacks to Keep You Calm in a Project Crisis for more tips on stress management.)
Where are you stressed? We have both Work Stress and Personal Stress. Go ahead and make a list of your work and personal stressors. Circle the ones that are most critical, and where you have the ability to change. This is a great place to start.
Four Coping Skills to Manage Stress
We all have some coping strengths and weaknesses. Here are our four main stress coping mechanisms. Which of these are your strengths? And which of these are your weaknesses?
Coping Skill #1: Problem-Solving: The ability to deal directly with the difficult situation you face and make positive changes to resolve them.
Coping Skill #2: Communication: The ability to share thoughts and feelings with others in order to promote mutual understanding, even under difficult circumstances.
Coping Skill #3: Closeness: The ability to feel close to other people, share feelings, and work with others in a group. You depend on people for support.
Coping Skill #4: Flexibility: The ability to be flexible and spontaneous when things change. You can easily change your behavior to reduce your stress.
Remember, as project leaders we thrive on a certain amount of stress. The key is that you need to be able to understand and manage how you respond to situations when you are experiencing higher levels of stress either professionally (at work) or personally (at home). When those stresses begin to build up, take a moment and make a plan. Start by identifying your strongest coping skills to help you reduce your level of stress most efficiently, so you can prevent “blow ups” that end up hurting you more in the end.
Sue
Sue Dyer, MBA, MIPI is a Master Partnering Facilitator & Founder for OrgMetrics LLC, WSJ bestselling author on Trusted Leadership for construction leaders, Founder of the International Partnering Institute, and President of sudyco® LLC. You can contact Sue at suedyer@orgmet.com or 510 504-5877.